S/D; handsome


The header has nothing to do with the subject, it just makes me giggle. "Hey, assbutt." Oh Castiel, you wonderful little retard you. I need Cas/Crow or... I don't know, my brain will explode. Perhaps I'll go hunt some, but I probably wont find any... Me and my love of rare-ass pairings.

So... yeah. There's this dog that I'm totally in love with... and it is so fiercely unlikely, but I want him so much. He's just... perfect. He's so small, and so pretty, and so good with cats... Young, but not to young, and just... I saw his little sweet face and I was instantly in love. I dunno, I just... had a feeling. I just... bah, there's no point stressing over it, I know. If I'm meant to have him I will, just... gah. This has got to be the worst case of puppy-love ever. I just... I want to be his mommy ;_; I'm so retarded, I can't even look at the camera cuz there's freaking pics of him on it.

In other news, vacation soon! Going down to Brampton, not in time for anime north which bites ass, but whatever. Gunna do something special with the love for our one year, aaaaand... visit Kurt and Micheal, and some of Chantel's friends. I... I dunno, I'm looking forward to it, and dreading it. Chantel's peeps have a nasty habit of making her feel like shit and... I can't fucking stand it. I wanna choke a bitch every time I see that look she gets; when she looks down and the light just goes out of her beautiful eyes... and she loves them to death, and they make her feel like crap. And I cant even talk to these people because it will only make them more mad at her. I don't understand; they have such a beautiful, wonderful, brilliant, hard-working, caring, fucking amazing daughter, and all they do is make her feel like shit about herself and boss her around.

Plus, her mom doesn't like that she's gay and her dad doesn't know.

So, yeah. Sort of dread hovering around... all that *gestures to entire paragraph*

Hopefully nothing blows up terribly. Tomorrow is pay day, and we are getting a fan, a magazine about shelter dogs for me, our tickets, food, and pay rent. Also, I have to throw more money at the debt collectors because... they suck. I should just do what my mom told me and change my phone number **snort** hey, apparently it works for her.

So why all the babble? I'm switching around my sleep schedule for midnights, tomorrow. I have a nice clean uniform, which will be awesome.

Oh, the other day I asked the store owner to come check out some cleaning I had done to make sure it was up to snuff and he laughed and said "Oh Jessa, I know your standards, I trust you." I was glowing for the rest of the day. For all the shit that goes down in that place... Norm can be pretty cool.

Work is... pretty cool. I mean, shot goes down, a bunch of people just quit/were fired... but I'm on midnights, so its usually just me and Daniel, so yeah. Maybe my baby will be trained for midnights, so she can work baker and be with me. That would be kick ass.

Resolute is next to me, he's having a dream. His ears are all *twitchtwitchtwitch*

Okay, I'm out of things so say now; go me =/
S/D; handsome

Writer's Block: Dream reader

Do you have any recurring dreams? If so, what do you think it says about your personality? How about your unconscious hopes, fears, and desires?

I dunno about all that shit, but I keep having dreams about my teeth falling out/rotting/breaking/that sort of thing. It's always really bloody, and always leaves me pretty terrified during, and pretty digusted and uncomfortable after. I have a HUGE fear of my teeth falling out, so.
S/D; handsome

aaand the new low, ladies and gentlemen...

And as a tack on to my previous entry...

After closer inspection, some games are gone. Not just a random stack, not all of them, no. JUST the games I took after breaking up with ass-face (previously known as shit-head, previously known as Ryan). Would not a regular thief either grab a stack and go, take it all, or not bother? Why would they spend valuable minutes pawing through and picking only certain games? Especially when most of those were x-box games, and she DID NOT TAKE THE FUCKING XBOX?

Fucking disgusting lowly little worm. Petty materialistic nasty vicious less than human shit smear on the pimply ass of humanity. Creation. Asshat. Dips shit. I hope my lapttop blows up and burns down his fucking apartment and then he gets sued by the landlords, has to whore himself out to pay the dept, then gets some horrible STI and suffers a slow painful death.

... yes, that would do nicely.
S/D; Bad News


Okay, so here's what happened.

I met this girl named Mellisa online, via Deviant Art. We decided to set up an art trade, but I had no scanner. Low and behold, we find out we both live in Thunder Bay. After chatting a bit, we set up a visit. She comes over. She baked me and Chantel pies, brings us icecream, says we are a cute couple and wants to sketch us. Mellisa and I have a very nice visit, chatting about anime and yaoi and other such things. We talk about work and other stuff, too. The worst part; I feel like we are becoming fast friends, and I really like her.

She leaves, all is well. We chat on msn s'more. We talk on the phone, too, a couple times. She seems nice and friendly and I really like her.

Then, she comes over again. She wears all black, and asks about the exits on the way in. Apperently, I am an idiot.

Shortly after, Gordon buzzes. He says he has my x-mas stuff. I go get it, he delays me asking about Osap. I get upstairs, and Mellisa, laptop, and Wii all gone.

Part of me hoped for an elaborate kidnapping, just so I could say it wasn't her fault.

It's not even the stuff that gets me. The Wii is the cheapest system I own, and used ones are generally sturdy and cheap. The lappy was making buzzing angry sounds, and the last time it did that, I had to drop 300 bucks just to get it up and running again. Come OSAP, I was thinking of getting a new one, anyway.

It's that I thought she was my friend. I hate to sound like an emo bitch, but I dont make friends so easy, and somehow I just managed to totally misread her. I feel like such a fucking idiot.

I bet Gordon and Ryan where in on it; Chantel reminded me, at one point when I was there to drop off some owed funds (which Gordon and I discussed and civily agreed on, though now I would like to kick his fucking teeth in) I saw a package stuffed into the mail with the name "Mallisa Something" on it. Fuck. FUCKFUCKFUCK. Not like I can not pay gordon back either, cuz he has a letter saying I will.

Whatever. He's gunna have to give it back, when I finish paying him. And sign something saying I did. And I'll prolly take a picture.

I'm just... I'm still hurt. Really hurt. How am I supposed to trust people?

I got myself all depressed, cuz we're having friends over for dinner, an I just thought "and what is stopping any of them from doing the same thing?" yeah yeah yeah, I cant let one bad thing ruin my life but... whatever. I just... I don't give a shit. I'm paranoid. Always checking the place when I get in. Checking my purse. Looking over my shoulder.

Really, really sucks that we decided not to get a dog. I know an animal wouldn't fuck with me like that and... I just... I just want a friend I KNOW wont fuck me over. I mean, obviously Chantel wont, duh, but... yeah.

Otherwise, I think this guy at work wants to bang me. He keeps saying how I'm "the perfect girlfriend" which once, is nice, over and over, is creepy. He was watching me a lot today, and he was saying how he's upset/jealous that we're both not single. I dont know, maybe I'm just being a paranoid bitch. Could be.

Anyway, that's it. Should go sleep before people show up.

Sorry I've not been getting back to people... I fail =/

PS next day saw Ryan. At least, pretty sure I did. Chantel's still not sure; I mean, she thinks it wasn't him. I dunno, he looked different but the same. He was the person who pulled my new DS game out of the case at wallmart. The name tag said "Ryan". Suddenly started twitching uncontrolably and felt psychically ill.

Also, cops said they could do nothing; who is surprised? Not me.

To sum it up... fuck.
  • Current Mood
    sad still betrayed
S/D; Bad News

(no subject)

Laptop has been stolen; we are computerless. So... we wont be around for a while. Yeah. That is all.

On another not, any cheap hitmen out there?
  • Current Mood
    sad betrayed
S/D; thinking of you

Needing to Vent-- pregnant woman and sensitive individuals please stay away :P

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In other news, Chantel and I are going down to Brampton this summer, from June 25th to July 5th. Yay us! We should be getting the tickets next pay day-- bus, because it's cheaper. My ass gets sore and this time-- OMG, bringing a change of clothes so I dont smell like sweat when I show up. Sheesh. Kinda looking forward to it though... means I'll be able to chat with my lovie all the way there.

Two more days of work... nhg. Tired.
S/D; handsome

Writer's Block: Sunday in the park with ____?

If you could hang out with any fictional character for a whole day, who would you choose, and why?

Hmmm let me think... Maybe Count D, from pet shop of horrors? Or Jansen, from Lost Odyssey? I would say Dexter, but honestly, the man has terrible people skills, so I think that would just be an awkward visit. It's a really close contest between Jansen and Count D-- but I would probably have to go with D. I mean, I love Jansen to death, but I'm not really the kind for drinking and hookers, which is what he likes to do.

D on the other hand... well, he could probably teach me to be a great animal groomer, as that is my new career choice of the week, perhaps eventually branching into animal therapy, or animal training. I think though, I would be perfectly content to just stick with grooming. D could probably teach me-- hell, he could probably sell me a neat pet thats a combo assistant/cute dog to practice my skills on.

Also, as a fellow person-who-feels-more-at-ease-with-animals-than-people... person, I think we'd get along very well. He's also very well mannered, and I think my personality would go well with his-- I'm very polite (in person? :P) with a touch of arrogance that I usually hide (or omit when not necessary) and he's like that, too.

Wow, I put a freakish amount of thought into that.

Also, apologies for falling off the face of the earth-- new job, swing shift, getting ready for school/vacation down south, Jessa has no life. Yes. First midnight shift alone-- I kicked its ass \o/!